Encouragement Speaker Derrick Hayes gives a DERRICK Interview by asking 7 questions through each letter of his first name to give you an insightful perspective from other experts, entrepreneurs, celebrities and up and coming super stars.
Today’s DERRICK Interview is with Helen Ramaglia is a former foster child who became a foster/adoptive mother. She is the founder and executive director of Fostering Superstars. Helen is a Congressional Award Winner, a Daily Points of Light Award Honoree and is the author of “From Foster to Fabulous”. She is a popular speaker, trainer and advocate for foster children.
What is your dream, goals or what have you achieved?
I am an abused, foster child who was destined to failure or the insane asylum. At five years old I had suffered more loss, more devastation and more trauma than most people endure over a lifetime. When I was 10 years old I was truly on the verge of a mental breakdown, my life was that devastating and traumatic. However, today I have turned my life around and advocate tirelessly for my brothers and sisters still in care.
Today I am proud to say I am a former foster child who became a foster/adoptive mother. I am the founder and executive director of Fostering Superstars, a nonprofit for foster children. I am a recipient of the 2012 Congressional Angel in Adoption award for my work with foster children and a Daily Points of Light Award Honoree. I am the author of “From Foster to Fabulous: One little girl’s journey through abuse, foster care, aging out, and life beyond”. I am a popular speaker, trainer and advocate for foster children. This is the new me I created. Isn’t she amazing? *tears*
I am so proud of what I have overcome and where I am today. I would like to help others either understand life as a foster child or help foster children overcome their past and become phenomenal. Five years ago I didn’t even talk unless I had to, I was too afraid to, but look at me now!
What encourages you?
My foster adopted children and the horrible condition they were in the day they walked through our door. At that moment, I realized that after 30 years the system was still a mess. The morning our boys toddled into our home they were 2 and almost 3 years old, we were their 7th home. In two short years, we were the 7th set of mommies and daddies these two little boys had known. Our boys lived their entire lives in foster care and were in a deeper state of crisis than I was in 30 years prior. Their 5 year old sister joined us one week later and she was in an even worse state of crisis than the boys were. I was so angry and felt so bad for our new children. What angered me even more was that I had to fight a vicious battle to procure the resources necessary for my new children to become healthy and thrive at the same level all children deserve to thrive. The constant fighting exhausted me, it turned me a little bitter, and took me to dark places, but it also did something amazing, something wonderful and something huge. It lit a fire in me that I never knew existed. This fire….. It’s incredible, it’s beautiful and it’s exhilarating. It’s intense and it burns hotter every day for the rights of children in foster care. I vowed to our new family that our suffering would serve as a catalyst for change. It is through this vicious fight, that I finally found my voice. It was through this fight that I would find the biggest parts of me and through finding ‘me’, I found my purpose. I allowed ‘fear’ to confine me for most of my life. This year my life has completely changed! My whole life is different today and it continues to change as I journey down the road to the purpose for my life and my suffering. I finally allowed myself to reach for the stars and I have no plans of ever letting go! No one told me I could reach for the stars and truly get there.
As I work with children in foster care I find that they too are typically in a deep state of crisis as well. The children are my encouragement!
What resources do you bring to the table that makes you unique or stand out?
There are very few foster children who have suffered the devastating abuse I suffered in my biological life and the added trauma of foster life, yet I have been able to overcome and become successful. When you couple that experience with the ability to passionately educate others on the debilitating effects of abuse and foster care, through the eyes of a child in crisis, in a way to let them take the actual journey themselves, is very unique. The effects of ‘taking others on this journey’ has been very instrumental in helping foster parents to parent foster children much more effectively and efficiently. It has allowed anyone working with foster children understand behaviors that ‘ordinary’ people can’t begin to understand. This real life journey has opened hearts and helped connect communities, as well as raise better awareness for foster children. With a deeper understanding of the darkness that encompasses the foster child and the debilitating effects of foster care, gaping gaps in life skill and social skill abilities, ordinary individuals are much more ready to offer support and are equipped to do so in a way that will have beneficial effects for years to come. I think this new found deeper level of education might help facilitate less moving around, a deeper relationship between the foster child and foster parent, and a much deeper level of commitment.
When did you realize you were ready for what you are doing now?
I realized I was ready when I had the wonderful opportunity to be a keynote speaker at a charity event. It was my first and I had not been talking long when the opportunity presented itself, yet I wasn’t nervous at all, I didn’t stutter and the audience had no idea this was my first time speaking. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house and I even received a standing ovation. Everyone said they had never heard such a passionate speech and thanked me for an ‘unforgettable’ evening. Many left with a much better understanding of foster life and were ready to roll up their sleeves and get involved. I knew then that a higher power had my back and that I was ready to pursue my destiny.
Name at least one person that you know about that you feel others should learn about and why?
Christopher Coleman. Oh my goodness, once you learn about his story you will be mesmerized! He was pronounced dead at birth, but miraculously survived. Though he struggles with cerebral palsy, Christopher Coleman knows his disability was a gift from God.
When you fail, things look bleak or are not optimistic what makes you want to continue?
I read my book, again, “From Foster to Fabulous”, I look at my home, at my wonderful children and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I truly am blessed. I read my accomplishments over the past year and I have no doubt that I am not doing this journey alone, but that my Father is right there guiding me. He gives me strength when I am running low. I feel He needs for me to take a message out into the world and that is what I am doing. Faith keeps me going when the going gets tuff.
What keys to success can you leave for upcoming entrepreneurs and leaders?
Reach for the stars and never let go. If I had known this, years ago, who knows what changes I could have already brought about for children in foster care. Set your focus and become obsessed with it until you get there. Anything is possible…….look at how far I have come. Never, ever let go! Dream BIG, really, really BIG!
Is there anything that we did not touch on that you would like to inspire others with?
“Every child deserves to age-out of foster care equipped with the tools to become phenomenal.”
Visit Helen Ramaglia for more information.